Abundant + Aligned

The nervous system rituals I use to handle more money and visibility

• Jess Martin

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Is suffering actually required for success… or have we just been conditioned to believe it is?

In this episode, I share my unfiltered take on the recent interview between Alex Hormozi and Tony Robbins, and the moment that stopped me in my tracks.

This conversation is for high-performing women in business who are building more, holding more, and quietly wondering why success can still feel heavy.

In this episode we explore: 

  • The subtle way suffering gets reframed as “necessary” in high-performance culture, and why that belief may be costing you more than it gives
  • The difference between growth discomfort and self-created struggle (most people don’t know they’re confusing the two)
  • Why so many ambitious women hit their goals… then feel empty, stressed, or disconnected afterwards
  • The daily and weekly rituals I use to prime my internal state to hold more money, responsibility, and visibility, which is required to grow to 7 figures 

This is the roadmap to ensure you can actually hold onto the success you create in your business (instead of being in a constant yo-yo)


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SPEAKER_02:

Welcome to the Abundant and Aligned Podcast, a place where you will come to realize anything you desire is possible. I'm Jess, Mindset and Business Coach, and I'm on a mission to lead women to a life far from average. In this show, you can expect conversations around manifestation, subconscious reprogramming, entrepreneurship, and the daily habits of a woman living a life that is both successful and fun. Imagine a TED talk but over wine. My wish for you is that you experience an unlimited flow of money, a business that attracts your dream clients, and the freedom to spend your time how you choose. And if you stick with me, that will soon be your reality. I'm honored to be on the journey with you, so let's get into it. Hello everyone, and welcome back to the Abundant and Align Podcast. Wherever you are tuning in today, I hope you're having the best day. And as always, thank you so much for hitting play on this show. I'm really excited to sit down and have a chat with you all. I am in my little home studio. We are recording, filming for YouTube as well as the podcast today. I'm sitting here, I've got my little sparkling water, feeling great and excited for our chat. So today's episode came out of nowhere, the topic I want to talk about today, after watching the interview between Alex Hormozy and Tony Robbins. I've seen it being circulated on the internet quite a lot. And when I woke up this morning, I put it on. I actually backtrack, had my first session back today at the cycle class that I always talk about and love. It's a rhythm cycle class at Therapy Fitness. And I have not been to that class since well before Christmas. And while I was moving my body somewhat over the Christmas break and since I've been back, nothing like what that class demands of you. It's very hard. So I had my first class back today. So I woke up and knew I had to leave the house for that, but I had a little bit of time before I needed to leave. I've really been trying to start my day with more softness and ease, which I talk about in the first episode back for this year. So I woke up, I did my usual practices, went into the bathroom, did my face quasha, did a Reiki session, went out, made my coffee, and just felt like watching something on the TV. I didn't want to put trash on. So I remembered the interview with Alex and Tony. So I put that on, and I was so shocked and taken back by the interview. So Alex interviews Tony and he is so humble throughout the whole thing. It's like a counseling session between Tony and Alex. And he is really honest about how he feels in his business, how he has built his success, and really opens up about that part of being an entrepreneur and being a business owner. So I thought that was really cool of him to come into that interview and show that part of him because what I see online, we don't tend to see that side. In saying that, I don't really go down the Alex Hormosy rabbit hole too much. While I think what he's done and created is so incredible and so inspiring, I don't always love their approach to building success. And that's actually what he talks about a lot in that interview. He talks a lot about suffering and that he believes there is suffering when you build success. And there's been moments where he's always come back to the question what goal is worth suffering for. And so I wanted to talk to that approach to building business because I know there are so many women out there who have accepted this way of building success. They have accepted that there will be suffering, that they will have to sacrifice their health and their relationships and their enjoyment in order to create what they want. And if you are an OJ, you know I don't stand for that approach to building success. But on the other end of that, I do agree that it isn't, it is not always sunshine and rainbows. And so while I wanted to talk to that episode and put my two cents in around this idea that in order to build success, you have to have suffering. I really want to talk about the other side to business where it isn't always sunshine and rainbows. And personally, what I do on those days to regulate myself, to stay grounded and to avoid the spiral that does happen quite a lot when you are building the brand to the point that I want it to be and really be an icon in this industry and influence people. And in order for that to happen, there are days where I really, really feel that. So I wanted to share what that looks like for me and normalize that for you and share some tips and rituals that I would recommend you follow. But again, I didn't, I don't want you to accept that if you do feel this emotional state and if if building a business does feel heavy sometimes, I also don't want you to ex expect that to just be the way forward. Anyways, what I wanted to do is share the component of the inter interview where Alex talks about suffering and it just being a part of business, and then we'll move through and I'll share my two cents.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, three things. So one was uh the emotional connection part, the second was the framing of the opportunity, and then the third was around suffering. And so I want to touch on each of those. Okay, right. So from the suffering perspective, I find that really interesting because passion comes from the Latin passio, right? Uh which means suffering or to endure. And so that made actually a tremendous amount of sense for me. And so I actually reframed that whole concept as like find a goal worth suffering for. And so I've been very accepting of my suffering. And to your point, I actually don't have a lot of anxiety. That's that's what I think. Not the issue that I deal with. I deal with the other opposite. The opposite point of not giving a fuck. Is it worth it? Who cares? Why bother, you know, whatever. So that was on the suffering piece.

SPEAKER_02:

He's also very open about not having a lot of fulfillment in his pursuit to the success that he has created. And he says that quite often through the interview. He'll reach these incredible goals within his business and not really feel anything. He also talks about doing charity work and writing checks in the millions, which is so inspiring and so amazing of him. But he talks about not really feeling anything, no emotional attachment to what that check is actually doing. And again, I was so taken back by his honesty. I thought it was really great, but by his acceptance as to suffering and his accepts his acceptance to feel unfulfilled when growing your business. Tony tears it all down, and he's so great. We love Tony Robbins, and he does say that's a load of BS. We don't need to accept suffering in order to get the things that we want. So that's the first point I wanted to talk to. And I really wanted to also agree with everything Tony Robbins says in this interview. Of course, he's the GOAT. You don't need to accept the suffering. And if at the moment you are hearing advice that in order to build the iconic brand that you want and make the kind of money that you want, you have to sacrifice your health and your time and your enjoyment, then I really want to paint a different picture for you. And again, Tony Roberts does this so great in that interview. There is a way to build success where there is enjoyment, where you are lit up, where you are so passionate about your work. So I really just want to encourage you. Let's not accept the suffering, let's not accept being in our business and feeling unfulfilled, and find ways to enjoy the success that we are building and find ways to enjoy the success when it is here and really make it a mission to be one of the people who can sit in an interview or in a conversation and say, I genuinely love what I do and I find fulfillment in it, and I don't sacrifice the things that bring me joy. So that's what I wanted to say on that. Let me just actually play you, Tony's response to this because it's classic.

SPEAKER_01:

If I may, I give an opportunity of the answer for you. But I'm just saying my two things are broken. I don't know why. But what happened is you're so in your head. So you don't think about what you did about a goal worth suffering for. I mean, I don't put goals that are worth suffering for. But don't get me wrong, put me on your bullets for lots of things to go. I don't want to do that I need to go to succeed or I gotta deal with. That's part of life. But polling is part of life, suffering's an option. You've heard that phrase, but it's suffering is an option. That's the phrase, that's why you've heard that shit some more. But when you make it your goal to find a goal we're suffering for, you're gonna suffer. Right? And so it's in your language and you've got your way.

SPEAKER_02:

So, yeah, as you can hear, it was a very humbling interview. And again, I think it's really cool that Alex did that. And I just love that Tony was also really honest about his viewpoint with everything. So, yes, let's not accept suffering and let's not run our businesses from this place of it's always going to feel busy and always going to feel heavy, and we've just got to do it, and enjoying it isn't always a part of it. So there's that. On the other end of this, and like I said at the start, while I don't accept the suffering in order to create success, it isn't always sunshine and rainbows. And now I really want to talk to the women who are feeling a form of suffering. And maybe you don't want to accept the suffering, but you're unsure what this feeling is within your body, this weight, this anxiety, this stress, this burnout, this potentially unfulfillment. And I really want to talk to those women who are feeling that. And I know there are so many women who listen to my show who do feel those emotions because you are doing big things. Now remember, if what you were doing in your life was not normal for you growing up, in my case, I'm the first female in my family to start an online business and create a brand within the coaching space. I am the first one in my immediate family to be active on social media, actually, probably in my extended family too, active on social media, be an influence online. What I'm doing in my life, the way I think about money, view money, make money is brand new for my subconscious. So if this is also unfamiliar compared to your childhood and compared to your programming, you would be feeling these emotions inside of you. Every time you make more money, your body will retract because that amount of money made in the way that it's being made isn't normal for your subconscious. Each time you work with a client who is of a higher standard, you are going to experience imposter syndrome because your identity needs to catch up with the momentum that you are building, because potentially you grew up in a household where you were told, don't be a show off, and things were said to you and experiences played out where parts of you still feel small. And so when you're signing these big clients, and then you feel this doubt of can I show up for them, can I deliver for them? That is normal and expected. So again, I know you guys are feeling this anxiety, this stress, this overwhelm, this heaviness at some points in your business. And I wanted this episode today to be about helping you, not normalizing it to the point where we're saying we have to suffer in order to have success, but normalizing for what is actually happening in your body and then giving you some tools to regulate yourself and move that energy and move that stuckness so that you can return to being that magnet that picks up all of the lead. And now I want to be really vulnerable with you. I have been feeling, I'm just gonna call it anxiety because that is a word that lands with most people, but of course, it's simply stuck energy stuck energy in my body. I'm still figuring out if it is a subconscious pullback because we are building so big, or if it is just so much expansion bubbling up inside of me that I just need to move around. Is it intuition? I'm still exploring that, but I have really been feeling this flutter in the top of my stomach above my belly button, and it's been there probably more than ever throughout the growth of my business. And again, I'm not shocked by that because the momentum the brand is in, the vibe of this year is to be louder and be more seen and stand up and say the things that are sitting on my heart and just go bigger and be bigger. So I'm not surprised that I'm feeling this in my body because the expansion is happening, I'm stepping into a different identity, I'm holding amounts of money that I've never held before. So, of course, it's normal for me, but again, I'm I'm still navigating kind of what my body is trying to tell me. Um, but I've been feeling that a lot lately, and so the rituals and the practices to move that and release that have been so important because the reality is if you are feeling in a way that I'm describing and you're not doing anything about it, and instead you have assumed that posting more on social media and getting up earlier in the morning and forcing your business is going to fix it, it's not going to fix it. It is not going to fix it. Effort cannot heal a subconscious program. Effort cannot move around this energy that needs to be translated from stuck, sticky, heavy anxiety into magnetism and activation, which is needed for you to work with the clients you want to work with and make the money you want to work with, um, make. So, yeah, if you're feeling this, it's so important that you are incorporating rituals to deal with it. You're getting the help you need in order to reprogram that subconscious. Otherwise, the reality is you will experience a sense of suffering as you keep building your brand. And that makes me sad that there are women out there who regularly live in a state of anxiety, regularly live in a state of stress, regularly live in a state of suffering because they've heard somewhere along the line that it's normal and expected and you've just got to suck it up. So you don't have to suck it up, but it will come and it's going to keep coming. The bigger your business gets, the more money you make, the higher the standards are, it's going to keep coming. But again, if you have the tools in order to regulate yourself and move this energy and reprogram your subconscious to show it that it's safe, it means you can keep moving forward and it means you will then start to experience this parting business where it can feel fun and exciting and joyous, and you don't have to sacrifice and suffer in the pursuit of getting everything you want. So, as I said, I simply just want to share the things that I've been doing lately to deal with the expansion that I know is bubbling up inside of me lately and what's working for me. The first thing that I've been implementing, which is quite new for me, is Reiki. I have the app Inside Timer. I haven't worked with a Reiki professional, but I myself believe I have a lot of power within me. And so if I have the instructions and the guidance, I believe I have the power to shift my energy myself. So I've personally been listening to Reiki practices and Reiki tracks on Insight Timer, and I've been finding that really helpful. They have some tracks that are for fear and anxiety or for expanding yourself so that you can hold on to more. And yeah, they're really tailored to whatever you want to work on for the practice. So Reiki in the morning, first thing in the morning, has been something I've been doing. Alongside Reiki, what I've been trying to do is making my morning practices some kind of energy recalibration. I shared that in the first episode that I'm really returning to my morning routine because last year there was a huge focus on building the business and uh the business growth, you know, marketing and messaging and branding and all of that, which is important. But this is the year I return to me and expanding my personal container so that I can keep making the kind of money that we are making and keep working with the kind of clients we are working with and continue to grow to seven figures. Um, so yeah, having some kind of practice in the morning that's solely focused on energy recalibration. So Reiki has been one of them. Another practice that I've been enjoying is on YouTube you'll find it as Chinese jumps, but I kind of put a little twist to it, depending on where I'm feeling the energetic buildup in my body. But if you just YouTube Chinese jumps, it's a combination of lymphatic drainage but also energetic movement. And if you put in YouTube Chinese jumps for energy movement, maybe you'll get one that's more in line with actually moving the energy, not just focusing on lymphatic drainage. If you can do both, amazing, but that's something else I've been doing. And um chakra clearing, so clearing out my chakras, really focusing on each energy center and what each energy center does and healing it so that it can do the job that it's designed to do. So, yeah, in the morning I've been doing these energy recalibrations, and the reason I have is because my state is going to determine what I create in my business that day. Your state is going to determine what you create in your business that day. And if you are waking in the morning and feeling a little stressed, feeling a little overwhelmed, feeling that energetic buildup, and you just carry that throughout your day, I promise it's going to show in the form of your results. So I've been finding getting up in the morning and returning to these energetic recalibration practices has meant that my state is now magnetic as I move through my day. So Reiki, chakra clearing, these Chinese jumps, something else I've been doing is just tuning into my body. Am I feeling energetic weight today? As in I feel heavy, stressed, anxious, or am I just feeling a lot of energy in my body that's not bad energy, it's just built up energy, and I need to move my body to move the energy. In those, like on those days, if it is just if it if it feels like a buildup of energy, I put on music and I just jump up and down, I move my body, I allow my body to move however it needs to move. And this is called somatic release and somatic work. And it's honestly, I close my eyes and I just let the music and my energy move my body however it needs to move. And if someone walked in on me doing this, they would think I'm an absolute nut job. But it's been really working, it's been transforming this stuck, holy fuck, things are moving fast energy into expansion, which is what we want to do with our energy because we are energetic beings. So, yeah, these energetic recalibrations in the morning have been really, really great. Another thing I've been doing is regularly tuning in. So if I am noticing this weird fluttery feeling at the top of my stomach, again, instead of ignoring it and just posting another reel, assuming that's going to fix it, or sitting down and recording a podcast, doing the work, I'm really just again tuning in. Like, what is this feeling trying to tell me? Is this a subconscious pullback, in which case I need to do some subconscious reprogramming, some identity work, or is this my intuition trying to tell me something? I'm just exploring the feelings in my body as opposed to just saying, uh, suffering, it's normal, it's part of business. We've got a lot on our plate at the moment, and this is normal to feel this way. Again, exploring it and listening to my body as signs that something needs to shift for the good or for the bad, and just really listening to your body. And like I said at the start of this, I really wanted to talk about this because I know there are so many women who are they have success in their business, but they are feeling uneasy, they are feeling dysregulated, and yeah, it's it's going to show eventually if it hasn't already. What just came to mind as well is again, so what we're doing, what I'm talking about in this episode, is what we call somatic release. So essentially, it's using your body to move energy, it's using using your body's movement to regulate your nervous system and show your nervous system we're safe, we're not running away from that tiger. So, actually, something else you can do is if you are feeling this built-up emotion or this anxiety or this fear or whatever you want to call it in your body, stand up and take some nice deep breaths in and then move your body and imagine you're shaking this out of your body. So when a dog goes through something that is traumatic for the dog, they immediately shake. Body. If you've ever noticed your dog do that, or you know, animals do that after there has been a threat, they'll shake their body. What that is actually doing is regulating their nervous system, the shaking. So, as humans, we can also do something like that. So, if we are feeling the heaviness and the dysregulation, literally just shake your body. It seems weird. I know it doesn't make logical sense, but it will regulate your nervous system and show your nervous system we can release this stuck energy that has been created in our body because you sensed a fear or a threat. So it sent your body into a fear response. So shaking your body, jumping up and down, another practice that you may like to incorporate throughout your day when you're feeling these heavy emotions is havening. So if you're watching me on YouTube, you literally just imagine you're giving yourself a cuddle and then you rub the um your upper arms with the opposite hand, like giving yourself a hug and then just rubbing yourself. Again, there's a way to show your body, yes, things are moving fast in our business. Yes, we're creating a lot, we're holding a lot, but we're safe and we're okay. And again, this is really important for those who grew up in a household where you were told that money will make you stressed, or you witnessed your parents be really stressed around money, or bad things happened whenever money was in the room, or if you had parents who had businesses and something bad really happened with the client, or they lost everything, remember your nervous system has been programmed to assume that the success you consciously want is actually a bad thing. So it will put you in this vital flight response. So these techniques like shaking and havening and moving your body around, um, you know, using somatic dance, Reiki, all of these things is really coaching your nervous system that we aren't sitting around the kitchen table watching our parents fight about money, or we aren't sitting in the lounge room as our dad tells us that we've just lost everything. That is in the past and we are safe to receive and have money in this capacity. We are safe to continue to build to the levels of success that we set out to build this year. Like we are safe and we are calm, and it returns your body to that calm and natural state. So taking you into that parasympathetic nervous system state. So these are just some rituals that I wanted to share with you that can really shift your state very, very, very quick. Actually, since we're talking about Tony Robbins today, I share this a little bit, but he calls it the power pose. So again, it's standing up, putting your shoulders back, putting your hands on your hip like your Wonder Woman, head up, chest out proud, and just shifting your state can also shift what you're feeling within your body. So just having these tools close by means that you're not going to experience these constant setbacks, or you're not going to keep growing your business and accepting any form of suffering. You're not going to keep building your business and then get there and feel so unfulfilled and look around at everything that you've kind of lost because you've just been so laser focused on growing your business. Like there is going to be fun and passion and enjoyment in your business most of the time when you have these tools to keep yourself to keep yourself regulated. And then actually, just before we wrap this up, these are just some nervous system regulation tools, some energetic movement tools that I've shared and that I've been implementing. But when I was watching that episode with Alex and Tony, a question popped into my mind as he was sitting there, he's built like millions, billions worth of success in his life. He's got a lot of success. And as he was sitting there saying that no matter how much success he has, he doesn't feel fulfilled, or that he has accepted that his success will come with suffering. I was really sitting there asking myself the question, what am I going to do to avoid being in that position? Because what scares me so much, and this is honestly a fear of mine, is continuing to grow this business to seven figures, being an icon in this space, working with these incredible clients, having the home, having the house, having everything on paper, but then feeling empty inside, or regretting that I put so much time into my business and regretting that I missed out on certain things in my life because I was growing my brand. That is my biggest fear. And it's not my biggest fear isn't getting to five and 10 years down the track and not having the things I want. My biggest fear is getting five years, 10 years down the track and having everything I want, but not feeling like it was worth it. So I asked myself that question: what can I do to avoid this? And I want to leave that question with you as well today. Like, what can you do to avoid building and having success without the enjoyment and the love for it? And it could be returning to spiritual practices if you are someone who is really soul-led, getting yourself around other women who are normalizing this approach to success, whereby we take care of ourselves first and we make sure that we are the woman we need to be in order to have and hold all of the things that we want. Maybe you want to bring in more of these practices. Um, alongside the ones I just mentioned, I have a deck of oracle cards that I will often read if I need guidance, if I'm feeling the, I'm feeling the emotions, I'm feeling the energy, and I just need some pointers. Maybe you want to be more connected to the universe, connected to guides, just to remove you from the external and anchor you back into the truth, which is we are energetic beings and we get to have and create so much, but we also get to experience love and enjoy what we're doing. And yeah, maybe you've been a little bit disconnected from that way of being. Um, so yeah, really just asking yourself the question, what am I doing to avoid this? Something else that just popped in my mind that came this morning is I really want to take even better care of my body. So our body is our temple, we hear that a lot, and I do eat well, I work out, I take my supplements, I get a good night's sleep, I drink lots of water, I'm doing all of that. But I believe another way that I could really ensure that I'm feeling the best, the best that I can as I build this business, is taking that to another level. So getting um, you know, personalized assistant from a nutritionist. Um, I actually have someone, Monique, if you're listening to this, I have someone that I know within my business who does personalized lab tests and she takes a look at everything and comes up with a game plan for you to perform so optimally. She works with high-achieving women and she is like again, I'm sure she's listening to this. She is someone who will say, in order to create the things you want, you need to have the body and the health in order to do it. And we actually have the best conversations when we get together because she is all about your health and body needs to be optimal in order for you to have the things you want in your business. And I always talk about your mindset and energy needs to be optimal in order to have the things you want in your business. But of course, all of this comes together. So again, me personally, I'm really looking at ways how can I take that to another level? How can I really create this temple that isn't so easily swayed when things go wrong in the business? Um, who, you know, this temple that is so healthy and so optimal because of course that um influences our state, which influences our energy, which influences the results that we are able to create and hold in our businesses. Um, so yeah, I wanted to leave that question with you and and get you to ponder on that because we really do want to be loving our work, we want to be feeling fulfilled when we are hitting these goals that we're hitting and making the kind of money we're making, working with the clients that we're working with and creating the success that we're creating. Like, I do want it to feel good. And yeah, I believe there are many things that we can do to get as close to that full fulfillment most of the time as we possibly can. So, anyways, I encourage you to go watch the interview with Alex and Tony. It's a great watch, and I'm sure it will um have you asking a lot of questions about how you could be building your business different if you are someone who has been experiencing a little bit of suffering and a little bit of overwhelm and a little bit of stress. Um, and you also have that fear of getting everything you want and it not feeling as good as you hoped it would, which is the last thing we want. Anyways, I'm gonna leave it there. Thank you so much for tuning in. A reminder if you were on the Gold Coast, I want to see you. Oh, actually, by the time this nope, yep, it's happening today. By the time this episode goes live, the event is today. So if you are listening to this and there are any tickets left, go have a look at the website. Get yourself there. I'm so excited for the night. A few things were just turning up before I um come and record this episode, some beautiful silverware to serve champagne and our canopies on. Um, I just did a video before I come here as well saying, and if you watch Emily in Paris, you will know what I mean. I feel like the Gold Coast nightlife, especially midweek, is so boring. There's nothing fun happening. There's no excuse to get really dressed up and go to a beautiful venue and mingle with other people who are doing cool things in your life. On Emily in Paris, they're always at events or going out for dinner, or they'll go for a wine and then go for a walk around the city and they always dress so nice. And so we want to create more Emily in Paris moments. So that was another reason why I wanted to create this event to give you an opportunity to get out of your pajamas or your trackies, ditch the scrolling and get all dressed up and come and have conversations with women who are doing incredible things in their life and who will inspire you and activate you and plant new ideas and potentially lead to collaborations and um just have a night out midweek and yeah, just enjoy yourself. So, yeah, if at the time you're listening to this, then if you're a local and there are tickets, go grab it. And I'm very excited to welcome you there tonight. Um, otherwise, you guys know where to find me if you have any questions about what's happening in my world, where you should be plugging in in order to get help with building to large income months, being the brand that premium clients go to and pay and just having this amazing life. Message me and I will point you in the right direction. Otherwise, that's where we're gonna leave it. Thank you for tuning in and I will talk to you in the next episode. Thank you so much for tuning into the podcast. I'm sure you're loving each and every episode. And if you are, I would be so grateful if you could take just a couple of minutes to leave your review and/or rating. This allows me to connect with you as I read your comment or see the review, and it also allows me to grow the show, which means more impact, more powerful guests for you guys to learn from, and more women changing their life for the better. If this does align, send me a screenshot of your review or rating to hello at jessmartin.com.au, and I'll send you a copy of my ebook for free to say thanks.