Five patterns keeping women in business stuck

You've hit the same income ceiling more than once now, and every time you've answered it the same way. You worked harder. It didn't move.

So this episode isn't about strategy, because strategy was never what was holding you. It's the five patterns I see in almost every capable woman who's stuck at a number well below what she's worth, and how each one quietly runs her business for her.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why your state of being is the reason nothing new is landing, and what all that over-delivering is actually doing for your income 
• The stress response you've been running your business on for years, and why it was never built for women in the first place
• The client you've already outgrown, and why letting her go feels like a betrayal even while it's keeping you out of the room you want
• What the words "no pressure at all" at the end of a message are really doing to the sale
• The reason a record month arrives as anxiety instead of celebration, and what your body is protecting you from when it does

This is part three of the high value woman series.

If any of this landed too close to home, my Private 1:1 Accelerator is open by application. It's the closest level of proximity to me and the fastest way to move the patterns rather than manage them.

Mentorship and Further Insights: 

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2027 EXPRESSIONS OF INTEREST: The Collective: A mentorship for women in business ready to expand into multi five figure and six figure months, attract premium clients and become known in the high-end space in their industry.

Book the mini private 1:1 mentorship package here. 

Further Resources: Follow me on Instagram for the ongoing edit on building a high-end brand and living a premium life.

Transcript

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Ready For Higher Caliber Clients

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You know you are ready for a higher caliber of client. You know you are ready for the work that comes with serving clients at that higher level, but you are still speaking to and creating for a client that you have outgrown. Welcome to the Abundant and Aligned Podcast, a place where you will come to realise anything you desire is possible. I'm Jess, Mindset and Business Coach, and I'm on a mission to lead women to a life far from average. In this show, you can expect conversations around manifestation, subconscious reprogramming, entrepreneurship, and the daily habits of a woman living a life that is both successful and fun. Imagine a TED talk but over wine. My wish for you is that you experience an unlimited flow of money, a business that attracts your dream clients, and the freedom to spend your time how you choose. And if you stick with me, that will soon be your reality. I'm honored to be on the journey with you, so let's get into it.

Five Patterns Keeping Income Stuck

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Hello everyone, and welcome back to the Abundant and Align Podcast, and welcome back to this mini-series we are doing helping you be a high-value woman to be highly paid in your industry. This is episode three as part of the series. So if you haven't been keeping up, go back to the last couple of episodes I did last week. They were all about things you can add into your life to be a high value woman. I shared habits and traits of a high value woman and also shared where I spend my money, both personally and within the business, to be a high value woman, to be highly paid in my industry. Today we're looking at what you need to stop doing, what you need to strip away. More specifically, I'm going to share five patterns that keep capable women stuck at the same income. So you may be someone who is doing the most right now, and you are a little bit confused as to why doing that is still attracting the same caliber of client. Doing that is still keeping you at the same income you've been at for some time. Now, doing that is still keeping you here. And you're like, why? What am I missing? What more do I need to do? Why is this unfolding? So again, I wanted to identify patterns that I see quite often in women who want more. And yeah, I want to break down each one so you can see whether you are whether this pattern is real for you, and most importantly, what to do to overcome the pattern. So as I've said, I've got five here for you. So let's let's get into it.

Make Space To Receive More

SPEAKER_00 2:32

The first pattern I see that is keeping you stuck is you are asking for more, but there is no room for the more to drop in. You are asking, but you aren't in a state of receiving. Now, the cool thing is you can ask and receive. I was actually talking to a client about this this morning on a coaching meeting. I said you can quite literally create and get anything you want. You need to ask and you need to receive. So I think a lot of you are doing the asking part. You know exactly what that revenue goal is, you know the kind of client you want to start calling in, you know what you would like to be pricing your work, or at least you know it should be more. You know, and you are asking, you're asking every single day, but there is no room for that thing to drop into your reality. There is no space. And what I mean when I say there is no space is I mean energetic space within yourself, but also physical space in terms of time. So when I talk about physical space, I mean you are constantly overgiving and doing, thereby that's your state of being, whereas we need it in a state of receiving, of magnetism. Now, very common forms of overgiving that I see in women in business is giving more to the client than was originally spoken about. So adding an extra call, adding an extra resource, throwing in this extra service. And the reason you are doing that, well, you think you're doing that because you are a kind person and you want to throw in a little bit extra. However, the real reason you are doing that is to ultimately justify why you are charging what you are. This pattern particularly shows up a lot when women have just increased their price. They think they're fine with the new price and it's sitting there and they're getting paid the new price. However, they are over-delivering when they are offering the service attached to that new price. And so by you constantly overgiving and doing more, again, you're in this doing energy and not in this receiving energy. The other part to that is the physical space. There is no room for the new clients or the better clients, the income opportunities to drop in to your calendar. There is actually no room. You are just far too busy. You are giving yourself too much physically to current clients who don't meet that standard, to strategies that aren't actually designed to get you to the level of business you want to go to, or just to people in your life. So, yes, you are asking for new desires to drop in. However, there is actually no physical room in your life right now. We need to create some room. And I'm not going to go down this rabbit hole too much, but what I will say is in order to expand, you will need to let go of something. And this is something that scares the shit out of a lot of women, and that's why they stay stuck. I was actually talking to a client in Telegram, she's in the collective, and she has just raised the bar in terms of the caliber of client she wants to work with. And naturally, current clients or clients she has worked with up until this point are starting to drop off. They're saying they don't want to continue with her anymore, they are canceling their ongoing arrangement with her, and naturally that can come with a little bit of fear. But I am helping her navigate this and helping her see that this is actually a very exciting thing because we are creating space for the better clients to drop in. And in order for that space to be created, we need to let go of whatever is no longer serving us. It's just a part of the equation. So for you, however that looks for you, we need to create some space in your calendar and also within your energy. As I was taking a look at this pattern, I actually pulled up some research on this, and I'm sure this will come at no surprise to all of you. But this particular study found that women average four hours and 53 minutes a day of unpaid work compared to men who average about three hours and 52 minutes of unpaid work. So naturally, we are just giving too much of ourselves away when we need to sit back and receive instead. So that's the first pattern I see quite a lot in women in business. As I've mentioned, the ones who have raised the bar and now they feel the need to justify why they have raised the bar. If this landed with you, I do have some homework for you as usual. I want you to do a bit of an audit, let's call it the delivery audit, and I just want you to list everything you are currently doing now that is overgiving. Again, maybe it's overgiving to clients, overgiving to people in your life, overgiving to your schedule, like whatever it may be. Just taking a look, doing a bit of an audit. Where am I overgiving? Where am I giving too much than what I actually need to? And then if the time element landed with you, it goes without saying you need to create some more space. So pick a day of the week, block out your calendar, don't let anyone book in with you, don't let anybody take that time up and just use that time to receive, to create, to be in your energy, in your presence, giving back to yourself. And honestly, you could probably find a pocket in every day. I don't take any meetings until 10 a.m. My morning routine is strictly mine. Yes, I don't have kids. I appreciate that's different if you do, but that's my time of the day where I have firm boundaries and I don't give to anybody else, but rather I keep the space free to create and to receive. So this could be a daily practice for you, or it could just be one day a week where you block your calendar out, nobody is allowed to take up your time, you're not overgiving in that moment, and you're simply receiving and opening up to all of the amazing things that want to drop in to your orbit. The

Overgiving Audit And Calendar Boundaries

SPEAKER_00 8:28

next pattern I see that is keeping so many capable women stark, and this kind of very much comes off the back of the last one I just spoke about. Your magnetism has been turned off because you are in you're doing way too much heavy lifting. So we are women, therefore, the feminine energy is our natural way of being, and the feminine is extremely, extremely magnetic. Her essence is truly the most magnetic thing on this planet. However, far too many women are disregarding that and just working so goddamn hard. Yes, we do need the masculine structure in our life. I'm not saying that we don't, but the the scale is tipped far too the other way. And if that is you, here's something you probably do quite often. If things go quiet in the business or if things start to slow down, instead of simply surrendering and trusting and calling forward, you just start doing more. You panic, you work harder, hustle harder, you just do more, you force, post more on social media, you send more DMs, you organize another launch, or you pull forward that scheduled launch. You just start forcing things and pushing things as opposed to receiving things. And what we're looking at here is the difference between attraction and pursuit. And when you think about it, only one can exist at one time. You can't be attracting and pursuing, you're only doing one or the other. And again, so many women in business are way too much in the pursuit and certainly not in the attraction energy enough. Yes, there are moments where you will pursue, but you need to also attract what's on the other side of that pursuit. And again, way too many women are addicted to the pursuit, the hustle, the grind, the force. And when we look at the state of being behind pursuit and the state of being behind attraction, pursuit is contraction, and attraction is being open, receiving. It's in that magnetic state where miracles just find you. And again, going back to this feminine energy, that is that's your natural state of being. One of my clients actually gave this analogy, and I love it. The egg sits back and the sperm swims to the egg. The egg doesn't go anywhere, it just sits and waits. And the sperm swims and fights and makes its way to the egg. That's how we are designed. We are designed to sit back and allow things to flow to us, allow things to come to us. More egg energy, she used to say, more egg energy. So I know for sure most of you listening to this need more egg energy. You need to learn to receive and be open and spend more time in that receptive state as opposed to that pursuit, which is a contraction state. And so the homework for those who relate to this pattern is simply stop increasing your output when things go quiet. You will want to post more, you'll want to send more messages, you'll want to organize another launch, you'll want to try and do more. It's just in your way of being, and there's so many reasons why that is the case. We won't get into that today. But instead of doing that moving forward, I want you to ask a completely different question. And that is, what state was I in when the best clients arrived? What state was I in when I had that record-breaking income month? What state was I in when I received something? And it's very different to that pursuit energy. And if you aren't familiar with a state of receiving because you are so addicted to doing, you need

Turn Magnetism Back On

SPEAKER_00 12:28

to work on that. So you need to actually sit in a receiving energy and practice this. Practice it, rehearse it in meditation. I have a meditation that I've created for my clients exactly on this, helping you receive. Actually, if you want a copy of that, send me a DM on Instagram and I'll send you this meditation. But it is designed for you to rehearse receiving and shifting your energy from pursuit to attraction so that things can fall into place and not be repelled because you are just running around like a headless chook. And actually, the note I wrote after this problem, and I see this so much in my clients, in women I work with, I see online, when it goes quiet in your business, you get louder, and that's the entire problem. So just let that land with you. When it goes quiet in your business, you get louder, and that is the entire problem. Okay, pattern number three that is keeping capable women stuck at this income or at this level in their business, is you are still building for the woman you used to be. What I mean by that is you are still focusing on, selling to, serving clients that you have outgrown. You know you are ready for a higher caliber of client. You know you are ready for the work that comes with serving clients at that higher level, but you are still speaking to and creating for a client that you have outgrown. And again, I see this so much in my clients. Of course, all of these episodes are influenced and inspired by work that I actually do with my clients. So that's why we always have a client story. But I see this a lot in my clients. They say they want to work with a higher caliber of client, but then I take a look at their content, I take a look at their office suite, I take a look at their prices, I take a look at their marketing, and I have a conversation with them. And what they say they want, and who they are speaking to, and who they are focusing on, and who they are creating for are two different people. And that's why things aren't moving in the direction they want it to move in. Now, the reason you do this, and I mean there are a few reasons, but mostly the reason you do this is because serving clients, continuing to serve clients who you have outgrown doesn't require a shift in your identity. So continuing to serve clients who you have outgrown doesn't require a shift in your identity. Now, I always say to people, the fear you have around increasing your prices, speaking to that higher caliber of client, doing something different in your business, the fear you have isn't actually the fear you think it is. It's simply because in order to charge that much and receive that much, in order to serve clients at that level, you need to become someone different. It's an identity shift, and that's huge. We won't get into that today, but that's huge. So by you continuing to speak down to clients who have been in your business for some time, it feels safe, it's familiar, it's comfortable, and therefore it doesn't require you to be anyone different. There's no shift in your identity required, but that's so boring. You are here to evolve and make more money and work with clients at a higher level because with every day that goes by in your business, you're more experienced, you're more skilled, you're getting better at this. Things should be moving accordingly. So, yes, your identity will shift, but that's the fun part. And that's why you work with me, so I can help you with all of that. But, anyways, the reason you continue to focus on the clients you have outgrown is simply because that does nothing to your identity. But here's why this is keeping you so, so stuck. Not only are you bored, I know you are bored of those conversations you've outgrown, you're bored of solving that beginner problem, you're bored because you've been here for some time and that is okay. But the other reason why this is a huge problem is because the market pays at the level of problem you solve, and you are still solving the beginner problems. You're still speaking to that other client, and that's why you're getting paid accordingly. And like I said, one of the biggest audits I do within my client's business is on the problems they are solving and where or who they are focusing on. And it's so clear that's why they're getting paid at that level, because that's the level they're putting themselves at. That's the positioning they are creating within their business. So that's a huge pattern I actually see, and that is you have outgrown your clients, but you're not allowing yourself to. And you're still trying to serve them, you're still speaking to them, but you've outgrown them. You're ready for more, bigger, better. And then the biggest takeaway from this problem is to remember you can't attract a client you aren't holding in your mind. So this is why it's one of the first things I do with my clients. Let's reinvent the wheel. Who's the new client? What are their problems? What solution do you help them create? How much are they can't how much are they going to pay you? Where on the buyer journey are they? Let's reinvent the wheel and then let's focus on them instead. Okay, the fourth pattern I see keeping you stuck at this level in your business is you are so concerned about making others comfortable. And you do this in two ways. One, you don't want to increase your price or serve only one caliber of client or pull back your offers because you want to be accessible and you want to help people, and you don't want to leave anyone out. I always say to people, okay, by you being accessible to them and keeping your price low for them and continuing to look after them, you're still leaving someone out. You're leaving out the premium client who actually wants to spend more money with you to get more of you, to get a higher service from you, to get your full service package, to get all of your deliverables, you're leaving them out. You're still leaving someone out. You're always going to leave people out and actually want you to leave people out. What I hope happens after we work together in the collective or in my private space, whatever, I hope people come to you and say, You are too expensive for me. Oh my god, that is music to my ears. When my client says, Someone told me today I am the expensive option or I am too expensive, I'm like, yes, this is perfect. This is perfect. I want you to be the expensive option. Being the expensive option doesn't mean you're not going to attract clients. You will attract high-caliber clients, the ones who do want to pay you a lot of money. Being expensive is great. So, yes, the pattern I see is you are trying to keep people comfortable, you're trying to be accessible, and it's keeping you positioned in front of clients that you have outgrown, going back to the previous pattern. The other reason why you want to make others comfortable is so you stay relatable. Now, this is no longer really about your clients or your audience, this is more about your circle, your friends, your family. If you made the kind of money you say you want to make, if you created the level of wealth that you know is possible for you, it's very likely you'll be earning the most out of everybody in your family, or at least within your inner circle. And that runs the risk of you being all on your own, lonely, no community, no longer relatable. Your brain freaks out thinking about that because our brain, think about caveman times, in order to survive, we needed to be in a community. And so we still want to be in a community. And so subconsciously, we shrink ourselves, subconsciously, we keep our income here so that we are still earning the same amount of money as those in our circle. A huge wound that comes up for women in business. Again, we won't go into this today, but this is something we talk about a lot in my client world, probably spoken about on the podcast before. You will struggle to earn more than your parents unless you do the subconscious reprogramming work. Because this wound comes up. If you earn more than your parents, you no longer need them to provide for you. And by them providing for you, it's a way you feel safe. Anyways, this is huge. This is a huge thing to unpack. But yeah, you probably will struggle to earn more than your parents unless you do this subconscious reprogramming work. And if you look at your income now and then you think about roughly what your parents earn, or those in your family or immediate circle, you're probably stuck at that level. I'm pretty confident this level you're stuck at is quite similar to whatever they earn, or the lifestyle that can be created through this income. So just sit with that. Again, that's a huge thing to unpack. But that will just keep you so much smaller than you have been put here to be. And a quote I heard recently that I want to share to wrap that one up is don't let anyone clip your wings. I love that. I actually heard it in the song. Okay, the final pattern that is keeping you stuck smaller

Stop Selling To Your Past Self

SPEAKER_00 21:45

than you should be, in a position in your business that you have outgrown is never letting yourself arrive. This is the perfectionism topic that comes up for ambitious women. And it is a huge, huge trap. For many people. What this one may look like, for example, is you finally hit that revenue goal in June. By April, that revenue goal was bigger. And it's like June never happened because you didn't stop and record it, celebrate it, recognize it, feel it, let it actually sink in. Before you had the opportunity to arrive within the identity of someone who just made that kind of money, you immediately moved the goal out. So now instead of being in that identity, you're back to the one that has been so familiar all your life, and that is the pursuit. Because now the goal's bigger, you've got to go back into hustle, grind, lack. Alternatively, you do stop and smell the roses and acknowledge what you've just created, and your body freaks out because it doesn't feel familiar. Again, a whole other topic. And so then there's this quiet hum, this quiet voice underneath saying, What if we don't do that again? What if it was a fluke? What if I lose it all? So ultimately, you are chasing down this destination in your business that you aren't allowing yourself to arrive at. So if that one landed with you, again, some homework for you to somewhat overcome that pattern is to start celebrating yourself more. Celebrate yourself, recognize yourself, have that moment of holy shit, let's feel this. Let's allow this to sink in. Let's just be in this identity of the ex-income earner or the person who just did this. Let's just wear this outfit for a little while before I want to get changed again. So arrive on purpose. Name the day, mark it, let the body register what has just happened, do something fun to celebrate it, make a big deal about it, and then normalize it. Just be with it for a moment before you move the goalpost. And I am the biggest sucker of doing this or not doing that. So many times in my business, I have reached a goal and then smacked another goal on the vision board or on my sticky note. I am the worst at this, but it does just lead to this empty feeling of success in business that I don't want any of you to experience. It results in you running your business on this fuel of it not being enough. And honestly, that fuel produces income, but not a lifestyle that you can actually enjoy because of that income. So celebrate yourself, recognize yourself, sink into the identity of that accomplishment before you move on to the next thing, which is pretty cool homo to have celebrating yourself, recognizing yourself, being in the moment of accomplishment more often. Okay, well, that's the five patterns that I see quite often in capable women. And if any of those resonated with you, there is some work there for you to do. Otherwise, you will be stuck on this hamster wheel where you're posting on Instagram, you're recording podcast episodes, you're sending out pictures, you're going to networking events, and it all feels for nothing. I want you to experience the magic that is available to me in business. I want you to get paid more because you are so great at what you do. I want you to enjoy true wealth. I want you to create a lifestyle that feels so amazing that you can actually enjoy. And in order to do all of that, you do need to overcome these patterns that are very, very, very deeply rooted for so many. And that's why my world is for you. And that's why I'm so glad you're listening to this podcast. And that's why you need to be in the collective. Actually, on that note, I have just opened up a few spaces for my private one-on-one accelerator, which is perfect to unpack some of this stuff with me. Three weeks, me and you, close proximity. You get three meetings with me online, or if you're on the Gold Coast, we can do it in person, Telegram access for those three weeks. We get to work. It's called the one-on-one accelerator for a reason. We pull everything out, we take a look at your mindset, your energy, your office suite, your prices, your positioning, your expectation. We overcome these patterns that I've just identified and we make you more money. Yum. So I will leave the application for the one-on-one accelerator below. Um, yeah, obviously, because it's one-on-one, there's only a few spaces, but I would love to see some new faces in there, or if you are an OG, you know, I would also love to catch up and get things moving for you in the business. So I will leave that application below. If you have questions about it, reach out. Otherwise, it should be pretty self-explanatory on the application. As for today's episode, I'm gonna leave it there. I hope you enjoyed that one. I hope there's a few aha moments in there for all of you, which I'm sure there has been. Get to work, there's some homework, and keep smashing it. I will see you back here on Friday for the final episode as part of this mini series. Send this to someone who you know needs to know how to become a high value woman so they get highly paid in their industry. Um, and as usual, please let me know if you've been loving this series. I love the feedback over on Instagram. Alrighty guys, have the best

Stop Trying To Keep Others Comfortable

SPEAKER_00 27:42

day. Appreciate you so much, and talk to you in the next one.